


It's Not That Easy

by Itsmarvelous



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Angst, Best Friends, Bisexual Character, Canon Compliant, Choi San is Whipped, Choi San-centric, Coming Out, Cuddling & Snuggling, Falling In Love, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Gay Panic, Hurt/Comfort, Jung Wooyoung is Whipped, Jung Wooyoung-centric, Kissing, Love Confessions, M/M, Movie Night, Mutual Pining, Pining, Secrets, Sharing a Bed, Soulmates, Supportive Members, Trainee, Trainee Days, Woosan, hand holding, switching POV
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-09
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:20:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27464083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Itsmarvelous/pseuds/Itsmarvelous
Summary: 5 times Wooyoung and San almost confess to each other, and one time they actually do.
Relationships: Choi San/Jung Wooyoung
Comments: 15
Kudos: 177





	1. I Could Kiss You Right Now

It was his smile.

It always had been, and it always would be.

Honestly, how can someone's smile light up a room so easily? Melt everything away, making it impossible to look away.

And oh God, his laugh? 

It didn’t make sense how something so common could make San stop in his tracks.

Being constantly frozen by the sound of Wooyoung’s laughter was something he’d never change. Instead, he searched for it accompanying the younger's smiles, like a double blow to his already troubled heart.

San didn’t know how he could keep his feelings secret much longer. It had already been years, falling for him almost immediately after he introduced himself. Recently however, it seems as if all his emotions are dialed to eleven.

Now, every time Wooyoung touches his hand, it sends shivers up his spine. Stopping his breath, and making his head spin.

Don’t even get him started on when he catches the younger humming under his breath. An endearing melody constantly following him around. San’s always listening for it, eager to hear the tune that’s always stuck in his head anyways. 

He can’t escape him, not that he wants to.

Every time he was around Wooyoung, it felt like he was going to break. The mask he wore threatened to crack, ready to expose all his true feelings. 

Even sitting here, listening to the younger talk on and on about the ‘hilarious thing’ that happened to him on his way home from the convenience store, San couldn’t help but smile.

San’s eyes were filled with fondness, watching the younger talk animatedly with flying hands and passionate eyes. The older could feel a blush creeping up his neck, seconds away from revealing his feelings. San pulled at his hoodie to hide the heat, then returned his hands to fiddling with a water bottle; not trusting them to stop from reaching out for his best friend.

He took in a shaky breath, knowing Wooyoung was too immersed in his story to tune into anything San did.

“God, I could kiss you right now.”

It was barely a whisper, San could  _ barely  _ hear it with his own two ears, but Wooyoung stopped talking. His eyebrows did the stupidly enduring thing where they raised in question, accompanied by his even wider eyes that held galaxies. San sat there frozen, watching the younger with his mouth slightly open, afraid of what he was about to say, of what he  _ heard. _

“Sorry, what was that? I didn’t hear you.”

A wave of relief washed over San. That was too close.

“Oh, I didn’t say anything.” 

“Huh, I could have sworn I heard- Uh, anyways...”

Wooyoung stopped himself, then continued with his story. San was once again immersed in his words. This time however, he made sure to control his feelings a little more, not wanting to slip up.

  
  
  
  


~~~~~

  
  
  
  


“Are you in here? Okay, good.”

Wooyoung entered his shared room hastily, shutting the door behind him almost immediately. He threw his dance bag to the floor, not really caring where it landed.

Jongho and Yeosang were both in their respective beds, scrolling through their phones.

When Wooyoung entered, they turned towards the noise.

“One of you needs to smack me across the face, like right now. I’m not joking.”

Wooyoung walked closer to the two, who looked at him in exasperation.

“No, Wooyoung. We’re not hitting you.”

“Come on, please Yeosang?”

“No.”

“Just a light slap? Just to like, smack some sense into me. I swear I’m hallucinating or something. Just like when people pinch each other to make sure they’re not dreaming, but more intense. You know, like now?”

“No, Oh my God, just tell us what happened?”

Wooyoung fell onto Yeosang’s bed, grabbing a pillow and covering his face, no doubt screaming in frustration. Jongho walked over as well, sitting beside Yeosang against the headboard.

Wooyoung started talking, but his words were muffled. Jongho moved to grab the pillow that covered his hyung's face, pulling it to the side instead.

“We can’t hear you.” The youngest looked at his hyung with empathetic eyes. Wooyoung stared at him for a few seconds before rushed words spilled from his mouth.

“Ugh, I hate this. Why did I have to fall in love with my best friend, and why do I have to keep imagining him freaking confessing to me and shit. Like, ugghhhh.”

“What happened this time.” Yeosang looked at him with calm eyes, knowing his friend was truly frustrated.

“I was just telling him about something that happened to me today, and I swore I heard him whisper something. He denied it, though.”

“What’d he say?” 

Jongho and Yeosang shared a smile when they saw Wooyoung's ears turning a bright shade of red. The boy's hands had gone to cover the rest of his face, proving he was flustered.

“I’m not saying.” His words were said through a smile, easily known from the cheer in his voice. Even thinking about what he thought San said made Wooyoung blush. ‘God, I could kiss you right now.’ Was that real? Could San really feel the same way? Could he really spend as much time thinking about kissing his best friend as Wooyoung did? Oh God, he hoped so.

“You know, you probably didn’t imagine it.”

Yeosang had said this hundreds of times already, but Wooyoung still didn’t believe him.

“There’s no way he likes me back, and if he doesn’t I-... I can’t lose him as a friend.”

Wooyoung’s words were still muffled by his hands, but his roommates heard every word crystal clear.

It had been like this for a while. Wooyoung had told everyone he was bisexual early on in their trainee days, but Yeosang always thought he was hiding something else. He asked him about it one night when the rest of the dorm was sleeping, and Wooyoung shared his feelings for San. Wooyoung had made Yeosang promise over and over to keep it a secret, and he did. A couple months after telling Yeosang, Jongho overheard their whispers, and he’s been a part of their talks ever since,

“He’d never stop being your friend, you have to know that.”

Jongho’s words made Wooyoung lower his hands, his cheeks no longer red.

“I know, but we don’t  _ know _ that. Not for sure, anyways.”

“Just trust us on this Wooyoung, we see the way he looks at you. If he doesn’t like you back, which we think is  _ highly _ unlikely, he’d never drop you as a friend. He cares about you too much.”

Wooyoung turns to look at his friend’s in the eyes, Yeosang’s words still hanging in the air. 

“You really think so?”

His roommates both nodded, eyes full of sincerity.

“Thank you for-, I’m uh, I’m sorry you always have to deal with this.”

Jongho reached out to squeeze Wooyoung’s shoulder, comforting him more than he’d be willing to admit.

“Don’t worry about that, we like helping you.”

“Yeah, if it wasn’t for us, you wouldn’t talk to anyone about this. We’d much rather you talk to us.”

Wooyoung smiled at his friend's words, thanking the universe for such caring members. He sat up on his hyung’s bed, feet dangling over the edge as a yawn was pulled from his lungs. Yeosang was the next to talk.

“Okay, we should get ready for bed.”

“Yeah,” Jongho said mischievously. “Maybe getting some sleep will stop you from ‘hallucinating.’”

He accompanied the last word with air quotes, making Wooyoung's mouth open in disbelief. The older grabbed the closest pillow he could find, and threw it at the youngest. Speaking his next words with no heat.

“Shut up!”

Yeosang and Jongho laughed at their pining friend’s expression. Making Wooyoung’s nose scrunch up in an attempt to scowl. He stood and walked towards the door, no doubt leaving for a shower. Wooyoung pulled the door shut behind him, leaving his two roommates alone. 

When the bathroom door shut down the hall, Yeosang and Jongho shared another glance. Jongho was the first to break the silence.

“Do you think they’re ever going to confess to each other?”

“God, I hope so. They’ve been falling for each other since they met.”


	2. Rip the Band-Aid Off

“It’s only us here tonight.”

Wooyoung looked towards the direction of the voice, finding San standing in the doorway. He was dressed in comfy clothes, hair soft and fluffy from being freshly washed.

“Oh, yeah. I forgot everyone else had schedules.”

The younger sat up, still perched on his bed. He loved seeing San relaxed like this, the lifted tension always brought light back to his eyes.

“Do you wanna watch a movie, or something? I’m kinda bored.”

Wooyoung perked up to the suggestion, nodding almost immediately.

“100% I’m picking though, cause you have horrible taste.”

San’s mouth opened in disbelief, obviously stunned at Wooyoung’s remark.

“What do you mean ‘I have horrible taste?’” He impersonated Wooyoung’s voice perfectly. A grin appeared on the younger’s face as he pushed past San to the hallway, trying to reach the remote first. As he slid across the hallway floors in socked feet, he listened to San’s voice trailing behind him. “It’s better than yours! You pick alien invasions, and stuff.”

“Yeah, to prepare us, obviously… I mean, it’s educational really.”

“Oh my god, no it’s not.”

San failed to hide a smile as he shook his head in disbelief. He followed Wooyoung to the living room, only understanding the younger’s eagerness to reach the couch first when the remote was in his hand. 

Wooyoung turned to San with a massive grin on his face, showing off the remote.

“Well, I’m picking.”

San stuck out his tongue, playing along with the teasing for a little longer. He fell onto the couch, and rested his feet on the coffee table in front of them.

Before joining San, Wooyoung shut off the lights. It flooded the room with darkness since the only source of light was the ever changing T.V screen.

They scrolled through an endless amount of titles on Netflix until they finally settled on something nostalgic. When Wooyoung pressed play on one of his favorite animated movies, he curled into the couch to get comfy.

Both boys watched the screen with sleepy eyes, not needing to pay attention to the storyline they’d already watched hundreds of times. Twenty minutes into the film, Wooyoung stole a glance of the boy sitting beside him. He got lost in the older’s eyes as the light from the screen seemed to get trapped inside, refracting what seemed like stars. Wooyoung could watch his eyes for ages, but he stopped himself soon after.

Nearly halfway through the film, the cool air from the apartment started chilling Wooyoung’s skin.

Snowflakes had been falling steady all day, leaving a sheet of ice on their balcony, and covering the windows in frost. Wooyoung was wearing plenty of clothes, but the cold air stuck to him. The younger boy tugged the sleeves of his hoodie to cover his hands, and pulled the hood over his head. The movements caused San to look over, no longer focusing on the movie.

“Are you cold?”

“Yeah,” Wooyoung nodded hastily. “I’ll be fine, though. Just need to warm up.”

San tilted his head as a smile plastered on his lips. 

“One sec.”

San stood up and walked into the hallway, leaving the living room behind. Wooyoung could hear him moving around his room, but he wasn’t sure what the older was getting. He returned a couple minutes later, carrying a massive blanket in his arms. 

He sat down beside Wooyoung, putting the blanket over both their laps. There wasn’t any distance between them, so the body heat was quick to warm Wooyoung’s goosebumps.

“There, it’s comfier with a blanket anyways.”

“Thanks.”

A blush started creeping up San neck when he noticed Wooyoung’s sincere eyes, his  _ wide _ eyes giving him his undivided attention. This made San nervous, so he responded the first way that came to mind. “Uh, please... I didn’t get the blanket cause you were cold.”

“Oh, yeah, sure.” The sarcasm rolling off Wooyoung’s tongue was evident, and it made them both hide a laugh. “Why’d you get it, then?”

“I wanted to. .. Obviously.”

“Yeah, yeah, makes sense. I mean, it’s not like I said  _ I _ was cold or anything. Oh, no, nothing like that.”

San playfully pushed Wooyoung’s shoulder, making the younger burst out laughing. He raised his hands in surrender before commenting one last thing under his breath.

“I’m just stating facts.”

San looked at him in disbelief, a grin only seconds away from forming.

Wooyoung took one look at him before his face adopted a fond smile, this washed a newfound sense of calm over the two. Wooyoung pulled the corner of the blanket until it wrapped around his chest, then leaned into San’s side. The older put an arm around Wooyoung’s shoulder, pulling him impossibly close. They both focus their attention back on the T.V, recognizing the spot of the movie they’re watching almost immediately.

Sitting here, wrapped in a single blanket and sharing way too much personal space, Wooyoung takes a second to think.

He could say something now, just blurt it out when the movie’s playing. He could confess, he could just  _ do it _ . There’s nothing stopping him.

Nothing  _ physical _ at least.

The only thing making it hard for the words to form is his underlying fear of losing his best friend. He knows Yeosang and Jongho believe San will stay, but it’s scary. The thought of losing his best friend, of losing  _ San,  _ is impossible to comprehend.

He leans into his friend a little more, basking in the comfort of the familiar touch.

He could just  _ say it _ .

Just admit his feelings to the person sitting beside him. He could finally know how San would truly react, instead of flip-flopping through the worst possible scenarios every time the confession comes to mind.

Wooyoung takes a deep breath, then jumps off the metaphorical diving board into the unknown water below.

“Hey San, I wanted to-”

“Do you wanna make some popc-”

Both boys start talking at the same time, stopping as soon as they hear the other’s voice. 

The action makes Wooyoung lose his confidence, no longer feeling the courage he felt only seconds before.

“Sorry, what’d you say?”

Wooyoung looks into San’s eyes, melting internally at the way the older’s head titled as he asked the question.

“I-uhh... It doesn’t matter.” Wooyoung shakes his head slightly as he answers, feeling but not acknowledging San’s questioning eyes. “What were you saying?” The younger returns the question, then turns to look at the screen in substitution of the boy beside him.

“Oh, I just wanted to see if you wanted to make some popcorn.”

Wooyoung nodded to San request, pulling the other boy into the kitchen to make the snack.

He tried occupying his brain with the task at hand, but his thoughts kept slipping.

He almost  _ confessed. _

He  _ would’ve _ if San hadn’t interrupted.

At the same time though, he didn’t feel scared. 

Not anymore.

  
At least, not  _ as much _ .


	3. Occupied Minds

If it wasn’t for the quiet sounds of the T.V slipping through the crack of the door, Wooyoung would have thought everyone was asleep.

He tosses and turns for what felt like the hundredth time tonight, then grabs for his phone through the darkness of the room. The screen blinds him when it lights up, causing him to squint uncomfortably.

2:30am.

It was  _ 2:30am. _

Wooyoung rubbed his hands heavily through his hair, then yanked the blanket off in frustration. However, he needed to be at least a  _ little  _ quiet because Yeosang and Jongho were sleeping only a few feet away. 

The thought of waking his sleeping roommates during the heat of their promotions was definitely something he wanted to avoid.

After staring at the walls for hours in hopes of succumbing to his exhaustion, Wooyoung was surprisingly alert. Of course he  _ wanted  _ to sleep, but his brain just wouldn’t  _ shut up _ . He begrudgingly swung his feet onto the floor, then tiptoed until he closed the door silently behind him.

Maybe a glass of water would help?

Wooyoung rubbed his eyes while suppressing a yawn, then smiled as his feet slid effortlessly across the hallway floor.

To reach the kitchen, he’d have to pass through the living room. The sounds from the forgotten T.V were slowly getting louder, but they were still quiet.

Turning the corner, Wooyoung noticed the person who constantly occupied his thoughts curled into a blanket, staring blankly at the screen in front of him.

“What are you doing still awake?”

Wooyoung’s voice was friendly, but the new presence made San jump. He probably hadn’t noticed the younger enter the room.

“Could ask you the same thing.”

San’s voice was laced with an exhaustion Wooyoung recognized, and the younger found himself joining San on the couch almost immediately.

“I couldn’t sleep.”

San nodded with empathetic eyes, then replied as well.

“Me neither.”

“So you decided to come out here and watch T.V instead, at 2:30 in the morning?”

“Well, you’re out here too. So…”

San raised his shoulders with a smug look on his face, making Wooyoung grab the blanket from the older. He then proceeded to wrap the blanket around his own shoulders, successfully keeping it away from San.

“ _ I  _ was getting water, I don’t know what you’re hinting at, but it’s false.”

A gasp was still etched on San’s face, but it left almost as soon as it appeared. A pout replaced it instead.

“Can I have my blanket back? It’s  _ cold _ .” San looked absolutely exhausted. So, Wooyoung was already handing him the blanket when San started talking again, voice much softer.

“Can you lie down with me? I was cold even with the blanket, and you’re always warm.”

Wooyoung’s ears were turning red as he nodded. He didn’t even have to think about his reply, it was almost automatic.

“Yeah, of course.”

San smiled as he moved to lie down, then opened his arms for Wooyoung to join.

“It might help you fall asleep too.”

The couch wasn’t wide, so they were squished together. Personal space was non-existent as they settled, arms and legs entangled as a comfortable warmth washed over them. The blanket rested on top of them, shielding them from the chilly air that always seemed to invade their nights. 

A new sense of comfort between the two finally cleared Wooyoung’s mind, feeling calm for the first time in hours.

The sounds of the T.V were background noise, while different shadows of light were cast throughout the room. They hadn’t thought of shutting the T.V off before lying down, and now, neither felt like moving.

It wasn’t long before Wooyoung felt his eyelids getting heavy. Almost immediately after falling asleep, he tucked his head under San’s chin. 

His exhaustion finally won.

San rested his hand on the younger’s head, fingers running gently through his hair. In whispers, he started talking.

“I love you so much Woo, you don’t even know….”

The younger was asleep, not even stirring to the confession. San continued though, his thoughts escaping before he could stop them.

“That’s why I couldn’t sleep. Every time I try, all I can think about is you. Your stupid smile, and your stupid perfect eyes, and your stupid infectious laugh, it’s killing me.”

“I want to shout from rooftops how much I love you, but I can’t. You’re my  _ best friend _ , and I don’t want to lose you.”

“It’s you, though. It’s  _ always _ been you, and it  _ always  _ will be.”

San pulled Wooyoung into an even tighter hug, knowing his whispered voice was seconds away from cracking. He used a free hand to wipe stray tears off his cheek, not knowing when they fell.

San doesn’t know if he’ll ever admit his feelings for real.

At the same time though, he doesn't know how much longer he can keep them secret.


	4. Wisdom (teeth)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's verrryyy short, but I really wanted to post something because I hadn't in so long:(
> 
> Sorry about the wait, hope you like it!

“Can I tell you a secret?”

Wooyoung’s words were muffled by the sound of gauze. He had just gotten his wisdom teeth out, and the laughing gas they administered was making him speak all kinds of thoughts without much of a filter.

Most of his nonsense was making San laugh wholeheartedly, and he often shared incredulous looks with Yeosang as the youngest in the room babbled on about every thought that crossed his mind.

Originally, it was just meant to be Yeosang accompanying Wooyoung, but San’s schedule cleared unexpectedly and he joined them without a second thought.

The three of them were waiting for the all-clear to leave the dentist, so they remained in the private room as the effects of the laughing gas still worked without fail. 

San’s attention was directed towards the younger as a new sense of focus worked its way into his thoughts. He wondered what possible secret Wooyoung could be referring to.

The question had taken Yeosang’s attention as well. He knew that many of the secrets Wooyoung held were being kept specifically from the person sitting right beside him.

“Of course I want to hear,” San said with a smile. Yeosang walked closer to the duo, standing just off San’s shoulder.

“Okay, you can’t tell anyone though.”

San nodded with a hidden laugh, but Yeosang felt a wave of nervousness wash over him.

What was he supposed to do if this secret was about  _ San? _ Should he cover his ears? There’s no way in hell Wooyoung has any control over his words, and he definitely wouldn’t be confessing right now if he did. Was that even what he was doing? Admitting his feelings? Or was this just a nonsensical secret that didn’t even mean anything?

Those thoughts were pushed to the back of his mind when Wooyoung started stumbling over loopy words. His hands were moving without control as well, raising and dropping with the flow of his voice.

“ _ I like someone _ .”

It was meant to be a whisper, but Wooyoung was on so much anesthesia that when he made the motions of a whisper, it came out loud anyway.

“I like him a lot... You can’t tell San yet, though. I’m not ready to confess to him.”

Wooyoung’s words stilled the air around San, but the younger continued talking as if he hadn’t just released earth-shattering news.  He must’ve forgotten it was  _ San  _ standing beside him, and he had heard  _ everything.  _ Yeosang jumped in to change the subject of the conversation. He managed to get the younger talking about alien conspiracies as he pulled San to the corner of the room.

San’s mouth was parted slightly, and he knew his eyes were darting around as fast as his thoughts. He made eye contact with Yeosang before speaking up with a weak, yet hopeful voice.

“Was, uh... was he telling the truth?”

Yeosang watched his dongsaeng's wide eyes as he contemplated his words. He mirrored the younger's restlessness and parted lips before finally settling on his words.

“You know I can’t tell you San, even if I knew.” 

San didn’t say anything, but Yeosang could tell he had a million thoughts on the tip of his tongue. A little quieter this time, Yeosang spoke up again.

“You want it to be true though, don’t you?”

San paused for a second, knowing his mind was screaming  _ yes  _ so loud his eardrums were ringing, but he hesitated. This would be his first time admitting his feelings for Wooyoung to another member.

“Yeah… Yeah, I really do.”

Yeosang smiles at his friend's confession, placing two hands on San’s shoulders.

“Then  _ tell _ him. Please, I’m begging you. When he isn't so cooped up on pain meds, confess. Trust me.”

San could see the sincerity in Yeosang’s eyes and smiled as he realized Wooyoung was talking about his second favorite alien theory, no doubt because he had already finished reciting his first. 

He nodded to Yeosang, not quite promising, but knowing he couldn’t put off confessing much longer. He had a  _ real _ reason to suspect Wooyoung returned his feelings, and he didn’t feel like keeping his secret anymore.

Honestly, he  _ couldn’t _ keep them secret anymore.


	5. Midnight Advice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wow, two updates in one night after nothing for an entire month. I'm sooooooo sorry about that, I hope the chapter turned out good.   
> Thanks for reading!!

San couldn’t sleep.

Honestly, how was he supposed to?

Even with Yeosang almost  _ begging _ him to confess to Wooyoung, San still hesitated.

The younger hadn't even been able to walk straight when he confessed. He literally said  _ ‘don’t tell San, I’m not ready to confess to him yet,’  _ when the older was listening to every word. What if it was just the anesthesia talking? What if Yeosang didn’t  _ really  _ know about Wooyoung’s feelings, but just speculated. 

There were so many doubts invading his mind that it was hard to think about anything else. One hopeful thought kept passing through though, and San kept getting stuck to the happiness it would bring.

What if he  _ did  _ like you?

What if he was just telling the truth about something he was scared to admit on a normal day? 

What if he felt the same, about  _ everything? _

San pushed the palm of his hands into his eyes and breathed out a frustrated sigh. He was trying to keep quiet, but Yunho started moving from across the room.

“I can hear you thinking from here, San.”

The older sounded tired, but he lifted the corner of his blanket high enough for San to see. When the younger hadn't moved, Yunho started talking again.

“Come on, I’m letting all the cold air in.”

San swung his feet off the side of his bed and hurriedly walked over to his hyung. Once under the covers, they turned to face each other.

“What’s on your mind? I’ve noticed you’ve been thinking non-stop these past couple of days.”

“It’s not a big deal,” San mumbled, earning furrowed eyebrows from the older.

“If you want to talk about it, I’ll listen. You don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to though, just know you can.”

San thought for a second, a pout forming as he turned to lay on his back. He let out a huff as air as he did so, trying to think of the right words.

“I like Wooyoung.”

Yunho mimicked San’s movements and joined him in staring at the ceiling.

“I know.”

San turned to look at his hyung and voiced his worries for the first time out loud.

“I don’t know what to do.”

“What do you  _ want _ to do?”

“I want to tell him.”

“Then do that.”

San’s palms returned to pushing at his eyes in frustration, his elbows pointing directly at the ceiling. Without removing his hands, he started talking again.

“It’s not that easy.”

“It can be.”

“What if he hates me, Yunho? No matter how many scenarios go through my head, that one  _ always _ comes back. What if I tell him, and it changes everything? Who cares that he confessed when he got his wisdom teeth removed, he was so hopped up on anesthesia he doesn’t even remember it. I do though, and Yeosang does too. And  _ every time _ I see either of them I’m reminded of it and how I told Yeosang I’d confess when Wooyoung wasn’t taking pain meds anymore, but I don’t know _ how!” _

“You said he confessed?” Yunho asked questioningly.

San nodded. “Kinda. Right after they took his wisdom teeth out, and right before we left the dentist, he asked if I wanted to know a secret. He told me he liked me.  _ Well _ , not _me_ necessarily because he thought I was someone else.” Seeing Yunho’s confused face, he explained what had happened. “Right after he said he liked someone, he said ‘Don’t tell San, I’m not ready to confess to him yet.’ So he wasn’t trying to tell me, he was just sharing a secret." San sighed exasperatingly, then moved to run his hands through his hair instead, pulling a little tighter the next time he spoke. "And I don’t even know if it’s true or not because he was on anesthesia!”

Yunho thought over everything for a second, then started biting his bottom lip. It was a habit he’d picked up whenever he was really thinking about something.

“ Honestly, I think you should confess. I’ve known you liked him for a long time now, and I don’t think those feelings will go away anytime soon. If you told him, there’s a high possibility he feels the same way. Just think about it like this, he confessed to you, and the likelihood of him doing that if he didn’t have any feelings before would be pretty slim. You said something about Yeosang too, and how you promised him you’d confess. If anyone would know about Wooyoung’s feelings, it would be him; his  _ roommate,  _ and his  _ longest friend.  _ I’m not going to tell you what to do, since this is entirely your decision, but I think telling Wooyoung about your feelings is a really good idea.”

San thought over Yunho’s words for a good minute before quietly saying a genuine thank you.

“Anytime.” The older said with a smile, then continued soon after with a stifled yawn. “We should try to get some sleep, though. It’s late, and we still have practice tomorrow.”

San nodded before his eyelids fell heavily, he briefly thought about getting up to go to his own bed, but the clarity his mind had found over here seemed more appealing than walking on the cold wood floors.

His thoughts ended on one definitive note, he was going to confess.

He curled into Yunho’s comforter, sleep finally talking over after many long days of thinking.


	6. I Like You Too

The sound of their newest comeback song could be heard as Wooyoung walked through the practice room hallway.

It was way too late for San to be practicing, but here he was, no doubt ready to fall over from exhaustion due to the countless hours he's spent pushing himself.

The rest of the group had left at 9:00 pm, which was a relatively normal time for them to call it a night, but San told everyone he wanted to stay for another hour.

Wooyoung looked at the clock on the wall, almost hypnotized by its constant ticks echoing through the otherwise empty hallway. It was past midnight, but Wooyoung doubted San would leave the practice room on his own.

So, instead of crawling into bed after a very busy day, he found himself standing outside the practice room door debating whether he should wait for the song to end before announcing his presence.

He could’ve gone to bed, he  _ could have  _ gone to sleep with the confidence that San would return to the dorm at a reasonable time, but he knew better. He  _ knew  _ San would stay in that practice room until he couldn’t physically move anymore, and Wooyoung couldn’t bear it. That’s how he ended up standing in front of that too familiar door, at a too familiar time of night.

Too-familiar-time of  _ the morning _ he should say because it was already nearing 1:00 am.

When the song finally came to an end, Wooyoung reached towards the door handle and turned the knob. He’s entered this room more times than he can count, so why does tonight feel different? Nothing’s changed, so why does his world feel like it's a second away from tilting off its axis?

San notices him as soon as he walks into the room.

The older has changed shirts since the rest of the group left, no doubt because his last t-shirt was drenched in sweat. His breathing was also unsurprisingly heavy, stopped only momentarily as he downed half his water bottle before Wooyoung could even say hi.

“We should go home, San.”

San looked to have gained a burst of energy when he realized why the younger had shown up, his hands had actually started waving excitedly in front of him as he failed to spit out his words fast enough.

“Wait! Wait a couple more minutes… please? Can you watch this part of the dance? I’m really struggling with it, and I don’t know where I’m going wrong.”

Wooyoung contemplated his answer for a second. He  _ wanted  _ to say yes, he could barely even grasp the concept of telling San no, but it was late. It was  _ really _ late, and San had already been dancing for hours.

“Please, Wooyoung? I’ll buy you your favorite candy from that convenience store on our way home!”

San’s eyes,  _ God.  _ How could he possibly say no when San was practically playing all of his cards to get Wooyoung to say yes?

It would only take a minute, it’s not like it’d be the end of the world.

“Okay, yeah. I’ll watch it.”

San beamed out a smile. “Yes! Thank you so much!” Wooyoung could feel his tiredness slipping away as he found himself energized by San’s inhumane enthusiasm. “It’ll be quick, I promise, then we can go home.”

Wooyoung smiled as he watched San turn on the music, then run back to the center. The younger watched from the spot he claimed in front of the mirror. He had slid down into a sitting position before finding himself unable to take his eyes off his fellow bandmate.

He didn’t know how San did it, how he could dance every move with such intensity and purpose that the entire choreography seemed to be tailored to his specific skills. Every move,  _ every goddamn move _ , looked more perfect than the last, and Wooyoung was losing his mind.

He knows he loves San, he’s loved him for years. But, every so often, Wooyoung’s hit with a sudden reminder of how deep he’s really fallen into his endless pit of emotions.

_ This _ is one of those reminders.

How could San have ever felt like he was struggling with this choreography?  _ This  _ choreography was  _ made _ for him. And  _ God _ , why did San have to keep looking at him with  _ those eyes.  _ Those eyes that reflected every single emotion San used while performing, making them too intense for Wooyoung to look at without completely freezing.

Wooyoung didn’t even notice when the song finally ended. While, he  _ knew _ the song ended, but the entire performance was still running on repeat through his mind, so he didn’t notice San had walked over to sit beside him until the older spoke up.

“So, how was it?”

He took a sip of his water bottle,  _ when had he grabbed his water bottle?  _ It was over beside his phone,  _ he must’ve pressed pause _ .

“Wooyoung?”

San waved a hand in front of Wooyoung’s eyes, and the younger jumped back into reality.

“Wait, what?”

The younger sported a confused look as San shared a bemused smile.

His  _ smile _ , oh, his  _ perfect smile _ , that lighted up every room, and made Wooyoung’s heartbeat a little faster.

He could hear San talking, no doubt repeating the words Wooyoung had missed the first time, but the younger was distracted by San’s too-close face.

“I was asking how the dan-”

Before Wooyoung could stop himself, he leaned forward. 

San stopped talking.

He stopped talking because Wooyoung had  _ kissed him. _

Wooyoung  _ kissed _ him, and now San’s frozen.

Oh God, he messed up, he’s messed up  _ so  _ bad.

Barely even a second had passed before Wooyoung pulled away with wide eyes.

“Oh my god,  _ Oh my God _ , I am  _ so  _ sorry. I shouldn’t have- I never should have done that. Oh no, San, I am  _ so  _ sorry.”

The younger continued stammering out apologies while San sat there frozen. Seconds later, he quickly escaped his temporary inability to function when he realized Wooyoung had tears forming in his eyes.

“Wooyoung?”

The younger continued uttering non-stop apologies, probably because his brain was so busy rolling through an endless list of worst-case scenarios.

“Wooyoung?” He called out one more time, this time, Wooyoung caught his breath, and looked at him straight on.  “It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not,” Wooyoung replied. “I can’t just kiss you, that’s not okay. I should’ve asked, I should’ve,  _ I should’ve done something.  _ It wasn’t supposed to happen like this. I was supposed to confess, I’ve wanted to confess for  _ years _ , but it kept avoiding it, and now I’ve gone and kissed my  _ best friend _ without permission, and I’ve, I’ve totally messed everything up.  _ I’m so sorry.” _

“Wooyoung, please listen to me. I... I like you too.”

The younger looked up at him with confused eyes. So, San kept talking.

“I’ve been in love with you for years, Wooyoung.  _ Since we met _ , okay. I’ve wanted to kiss you countless times, and I’ve wanted to confess to you countless more. I was planning on telling you soon, ever since the Wisdom teeth thing, but nothing felt right... I’ll tell you now though, Wooyoung, I’ll tell you every little thing I’ve been dying to tell you ever since I realized how I felt, or I can kiss you for real.”

“That, do that please.” 

The younger was failing at hiding a blush, but it only made San smile sheepishly. 

“Okay,” San said breathlessly, no doubt thoughts focused solely on finally kissing the one person he’s been pining after for years.

They met in the middle with tentative lips, but their shyness soon went away. San rested a hand on the back of Wooyoung’s head and pulled him closer as he ran his fingers gently through the younger's hair.

It felt right, really, there was no other way to explain it. Everything seemed to be clicking into place as their emotions for each other were finally exposed after years of building in the privacy of their own minds.

Why had they waited? Why had they been so afraid of confessing when it was so obvious to all their members that their feelings were reciprocated? Why had they been so scared?

All their fears were wiped away when the reality of what they were doing finally settled in.

They were kissing, they were  _ actually  _ kissing.

It hadn’t turned out to be the worst-case-scenario both feared, but the hopeful possibility that neither ever dreamed possible.

They like  _ each other _ , and they  _ always have. _

San pulled away with a smile ghosting over his lips, and Wooyoung found himself mirroring the same level of utter happiness. They tried to catch their breath before speaking, both no doubt caught up in the moment.

“Be with me, okay? Let’s be together?”

Wooyoung’s breath caught when the question slipped effortlessly out of San’s mouth. He found himself agreeing without hesitation.

“Yeah, yeah of course.” 

Wooyoung pulled San into another kiss, this time much more relaxed. When he pulled away, he rested their foreheads together for a second, then returned to sit beside him with his back resting against the mirror. This time, however, he played with San’s hands as a question stumbled past his lips.

“You said something about wisdom teeth, I- uh, what did you mean?”

“Oh, it’s nothing. You kinda just confessed to me after your procedure.”

Wooyoung turned bright red.

“No, no, I- no.”

He was in complete denial, which made San smile his big bright smile.

“Yeah, you did. Practically gave Yeosang a heart attack when he realized what you did.”

“Oh, that’s literally so embarrassing. But, I mean, it kind of makes sense now. Yeosang has been a little more adamant about me confessing to you lately, and now I get why.”

Wooyoung kissed the back of San’s hand before standing up, dragging the other to a standing position as well.

“Come on, it’s getting late. We can talk more about everything tomorrow, but right now we should head home.”

San pulled Wooyoung into a hug and nodded along to Wooyoung’s suggestion without hesitation.

“Stay with me tonight?”

Wooyoung wrapped his arms around San’s back and nodded as well.

“You didn’t even have to ask.”

They both found comfort in the other's arms and ended up staying in the hug for a couple more minutes before finally pulling away.

“We should go.”

“Yeah, we should.”

They started packing away San’s things and tidying up the room before heading to the door. Before Wooyoung could pull it open, San started talking.

“What should we tell the members?”

Wooyoung thought about it for a second before stifling a laugh as he turned to look at San.

“I bet they’ll have it figured out before noon tomorrow.”

“Really, I say during dance practice.”

“Wanna bet for real?”

“A bag of candy?”

“You already owe me candy.”

“Oh yeah, what should we bet then?”

“How about... Whoever loses pays for our first date.”

“I’d buy a million dates for you, though. So, that’s not really a punishment.”

Wooyoung failed to hide his smile as he looked towards San with pure adoration, “Yeah, I guess you're right.”

San walked up beside Wooyoung and pulled him into a side hug, he also kissed his forehead, a habit he knows will soon become common. “Come on, let’s get home,” he said softly, “We can worry about the bet tomorrow.”

“Okay,” Wooyoung said with a smile. 

Both failed for the millionth time that night at hiding their blushes, but neither complained about the red hue that was adamant about being plastered on their faces.

Tonight, everything had worked out. 

They could worry about the next step tomorrow.

~~~~~

“Have you seen Wooyoung?”

Seonghwa and Hongjoong’s attention turned towards Yeosang as he entered the kitchen, everyone was still sporting their pajamas, and the lack of alertness during their early-morning wake-ups was something everyone was familiar with.

“What do you mean? He wasn’t in his bed.”

Hongjoong was already sounding too stressed for how early it was in the morning, but Yeosang’s question  _ was  _ kind of worrying.

“He’s in San’s bed.”

The three of them turned to Yunho and watched as the bowl of cereal in front of him quickly emptied. Mingi and Jongho sat beside him as they also ate a quick breakfast.

“He’s in… Did they confess? Does anyone know?”

Yeosang seemed both hopeful and intrigued as he asked the members currently sitting around the table. Everyone here knew their two members were pining after each other, and they’ve had similar conversations more times than they could count.

“Well, last time they slept like that together, like on the couch, they hadn’t confessed either. Maybe it’s like that again?”

Everyone seemed to accept that was the most likely outcome before Yunho spoke up.

“I don’t think so, I think they actually confessed this time. They must’ve thought I was asleep, but I saw them kiss each other goodnight.”

“Oh my god,  _ finally.” _

“It’s literally been  _ years.” _

Their voices mixed as similar exclamations flooded the air, the only thing that stopped them from talking was when they realized Wooyoung and San were standing in the doorway, both wearing matching blushes as they listened.

“So, you guys already know?” Asked San as he rubbed the back of his neck nervously.

“Yeah, we do,” Hongjoong said from where he still stood in the kitchen. “You know, when we said we’d let you guys figure out your feelings on your own, we didn’t realize it would take this many years.”

The duos already deep blush grew impossibly deeper.

“It’s not that easy to confess.” Spoke Wooyoung and San almost simultaneously, making everyone grin. It was silent for a moment before Hongjoong spoke up.

“We’re just happy you finally did.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If that was too cheesy please comment
> 
> Hope you liked it<33


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